no Tord for us.

I knew we were too late for Tord. So, I held off going to Target, why drive myself crazy? But last week we got the urge. The long evening was ahead of us with girls bouncing off the walls, so we bundled up in the rain and went out to the nearest Target, which is pretty far out, really, so I still had some hope.

Well, the dishes were there and the candelabra, but no garlands, which is what I had hoped for. They don't even have them online. But you know, I am totally okay with all of it. I got some wrapping paper and some tins of smores and peppermint Oreos (warning, the packaging is way better than the taste) and I thought, "Well good, we didn't spend money on stuff we don't need. .blah, blah." If they had the Tord I wanted, I would have gotten all hordey and weird and stressed about how much to buy, etc.

So, I figure we were all good to go and I round the corner to see Pete stuffing a god awful moving train figurine into our cart. The kind that lights up with fiber optics and goes around. Seriously. There is not one cute/kitsch thing about this, um, decoration. It's just bad on every level. "What are you doing?" He freezes. I think if he thought he could fit it in, I wouldn't really notice. He quickly explains that the girls loved seeing it last year (they did) and that they sold out so fast and. . . . .so we got it. It's so flippin ugly, I can't believe it. The girls stare at it mesmerized and the fiber optics are so over the top. I thought we'd put it in th play room downstairs, but no, it's right in the living room on top of the modern Danish sideboard that would have been so perfect for Tord-type holiday decor. Oh the aesthetic pain here is very real, but somehow, in a fabulous way, it seems perfect. And I love Pete for wanting it for them so badly. And, the music turns off, which is a good thing.

Comments

[Jaana]

This is SO true in our family too :) We sometimes have to make sacrifices, I guess. Especially with all those "not-cute and not-stylish" Christmas decorations children and their father so desperately want. Ouch! The missing of the Tord garland would have hitted me hard. You're acting so bravely, dear! I checked the Target on-line as well just to see if it would be possible to have some garlands shipped to Finland...

[carol]

you are a number one mother!

right as your page was loading, my 5year old son was very eager to watch your image come into full view! i knew there had to be an explanation and you are right on!

what we do for our kids...and husbands! (at least yours is even willing to spend the money!)

by the way...my son thinks your decor is really cool!

[hillary]

oh my god, Oscar LOVES that thing! or something almost just like it that he snookered my Mom into buying for him last year. It lives at Grandma's so we just get to enjoy the pyrotechnics on the weekends :)

[Mama Urchin]

Music that turns off is a very fine feature.

[Miriam]

Oh Lord, I see what you mean about the fibre optic thingies on that. Maybe they can be removed? somehow? Coz without them, it's kinda... you know, OK-ish. But definitely worth having, if it lights up the kids even half as much, right? :-)

[Donna]

I really think it's wonderful that you were able to put your own ideas of decor aside to get something they love--this is something I am very bad at and have to remind myself that my way is not the only way

[stephanie]

yeah, i don't think there's any tord garland left in the portland metro area, but my kids did get to ride the jantzen beach carousel when i went to try just one more store!

[carolyn]

Hey that's Christmas for a wife and mother. I gave up years ago and let the kids do all the Christmas decorations apart from the dining room mantle shelf. Fortunately they seem to be quite tradional putting the stuff up like I did when they were tiny.
Guess that might mean your gonna live with the lights and train for a long, long time. Then just wait till nostalgia kicks in and it has to come out!

[lisa sp]

I bought a few last week when the first came in and before the hype began. Today when we went to Target for cough medicine and because I wanted to see the Tord candle-thing in person (which they didn't have yet) I thought for sure they would be gone, but there was a both (or all 3?) kinds left. Clearly there is a lack of high style in the Minneapolis suburbs!

[stephanie s]

just got back from target myself... no garland - really i didn't expect that it would still be there, but a girl has to try...

[erin]

Oh - he's a good dad!

[amy h]

Our stores have things stocked the opposite way: we have the garlands, but no dishes or candelabras. We have the window decals, but I didn't really like them when I saw them. (They should have been white.)

[Mae]

My mother-in-law once bought us a plastic musical Christmas mat. I wasn't quite sure what to do with it so I put it in the hall in front of the bathroom door. It got stepped on a lot and never lived through the sesaon poor thing ...

[Amanda]

Oh that train thing! We barely escaped that this afternoon! Luckily, the display model was broken at our Target and I was able to divert Max to the pretty lit up Christmas trees. Last year Max did the same thing, sat mesmerized in front of it, watching the lights and the train, until my brain imploded. You & Pete are wonderful, self-sacrificing parents!

[martha]

You are hilarius! But it is so true...
no tord garland left here in the city of mpls -but I see from lisa sp above that there is some left out in the burbs - guess I know what I'll be doing tonight.....

[hillary]

p.s. I picked you up a garland this afternoon :)

[Jennifer]

I went to 2 Targets and no Tord garland for me. :(

[Carol]

Tord enabler here: Get back to Target all of you and try again. The Tord stuff is in different places. The garland was by the holiday gift candy and with paper goods by Tord on an endcap. The dishes were in the housewares area. Good luck!

[melissa f.]

ooh... my... one more reason for sam to love your house.

[Alicia A.]

you've got to let them win a battle once in awhile anyway... wink.

[blair]

where is the friggin Tord when you need it??? I pulled up this photo and immediately thought, what the hell? But, Pete's got it right, fiber optics are like crack to my kids...

[Pam]

OHmygosh, I have Tord garland but now I'm afraid to take it out of it's package because it's so valuable and I might ruin it. And yes, Tord stuff is all over. And the window decals are not white, which makes them not that good.

[Zegi]

Tacky is a kid-magnet, man...

[laurie]

That was so hilarious I had to read it out loud for my husband! Funny thing is, I was that panicked woman scouring Target for the garland last weekend. I think Mark was both embarassed and frightened because a couple of times he tried to coax me over to less peopled areas of the store. However, after the first time I was on to him and would not be diverted from my frantic mission.

[Michelle]

I know exactly what thing you're talking about! We could not pull my 3 year old nephew away from it last year! It is hideous but if the kids love it, what are you going to do?

[hannah]

"fiber optics are like crack to my kids" god blair that is hillarious... and amy that thing is frickin' ugly in the best way. why can i so picture pete freezing? i just can. hey, maybe tomorrow you can flip on the crack & music show and sit back and enjoy a cup of tea and read a few blogs? eah? thats what pete was really aiming for, right?

[Darlene]

I think its so funny and endearing i'm 65 and remember those days well, enjoy them tord or someone else will be there but not the little ones. they will be all grown up. darlene

[Barb]

A know two couples who give each other the most God awful things like this each year, seeing who can come up with the tackiest thing ever. One year one couple bought the other this weird Wizard thing at Walmart, complete with this dirt area that, when turned on, swirled into a funnel cloud. Then a dragon guarded the other side. It was really really bad and therefore so so good.

[Mariko]

Go, Pete! Not everything can be 100% designey and cool (though maybe he thinks that train is designey and cool? That's okay, too).
And yes, I'm back, but I was sick in bed all day!

[KellyS]

Your children will have fond, fiber-optic glowing memories of the awesome Christmas decorations their cool parents displayed. And someday, when they're about 35, this piece will sell for big bucks on Ebay to someone, nostalgic for the innocent days of 2006.

[Alison]

Max looks at this and thinks you are a true goddess of style.

[mijk]

MY husband loves multicoloured lights in the tree ;-) So I got him and the boy hooked on an expensive and tastefull christmasvillage last year because I saw this coming too!

[VictoriaE]

Awesome, that's the spirit...

[tuscanycastlegirl]

oh honey...I feel your pain. What is up with fiber optics & holiday decor? and of course kids love it! mothers hate it, kids love it. it's one of the ultimate cringers.

[dawn]

Hi is the TORD garland the white paper cut-out? If so...Ican get you 2 from my Target, they were there yesterday. I will check again today for you if you want. You can e-mail me with the details.

[sarah]

ha!! it's awful but even better he tried to hide it. was he going to hand sadie a twenty and tell her to meet you all out front? i'm fascinated how the vision of it staying underwraps was going to work. ha! awesome.

[Amy]

I have extra garland too. Let me know if you need one and I'd be happy to send it to you.

[moki]

ha! You only have to look at it for about 40 more days...that is unless you dont put christmas decorations away to new years...oh and they might convince you it's a winter decoration so they can keep it out longer....watch out!

[amigurumigirl]

awwwwww too sweet! what wonderful holiday memories you have now.... every year when that nas... i mean, beautiful thing comes out. teehee truly it now has a place in your heart that makes up for all the gawdiness of it. good day!

[Vallen Queen]

Hey, these over the top ornaments, gaudy and bright, will be just what the discerning collector will be looking for in, say, 2056. Might want to hang on to it.

[Alison Whittington]

Oh, my goodness gracious, I feel terribly embarrassed admitting this, but... I actually like that thing! Of course, I haven't seen it in person, so I will have to check it out the next time I go to Target, and I wouldn't buy it myself, because I'm stingy when it comes to decorations and try really hard not to buy mass-produced things... but still, I like that one. It's so... nostalgic and miniature and... okay, I'll stop. But maybe it will grow on you.

I really cracked up over the talking, cackling "stone" busts they had for Halloween. They had flashing red eyes and were the epitome of tacky... but they were so funny!

[Beth]

Tord garland score! They had it today when I went to the Target at the Vancouver Mall in Vancouver, WA. I bought three and there were a couple more left. If you hurry, you can probably snag it.

There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to where it is. It's on the right hand side of the store near the front with all the holiday paper plates and stuff.

[rebecca]

hey! the target by Washington Square still has tons of Tord stuff. i picked up two packages of the garland (let me know if you want one of them, and i'll send it to you). they have a lot of the dishes too! the garland was up front in the candy section and the dishes were on an endcap near the other plates/glassware.

[mary]

I had the same experience looking for the Tord garland last weekend. My sister helped me scour the isles. I settled for the votive holders and the hurricane. the votive holders are actually a pretty nice size to also use as small glasses...

[Madeline]

Do you want me to get you some garland? I had two in my hand and put one back and am KICKING myself now. I had no idea!! Email me because I'm definitely going back for more!!

[Monica]

~Whew... thank goodness for the PNW Tord Reports! I haven't been able to make it to my closest Target (Kelso, WA) yet and am so worried I was going to be too late! Nice to know about Wa. Sq. and Vanc. Mall. Thanks ladies! PS... every time I've been in the new Hazel Dell Target, it's uncrowded, lotsa parking and they have a big inventory... they might have a good bounty of Tord!

Ahhhh husbands. So easy to enchant with lights and music. I loved this post! :o)

[mj]

My old roommate had a fiber optic Christmas tree- I was glad she didn't have a problem keeping it in her bedroom.

[scribblesnbits]

Ok, so I haven't seen it in person, but from the picture, it looks pretty cute. *hanging my tacky head in shame*

[PinkPoppies]

If I could be so tacky and ask if one of you kind ladies with access to the Tord garland to e-mail me (pinkpoppiesatgmaildotcom)if you think you could send two packets to me. I will pay for garland and shipping. Am in Canada and no access to the border to visit the halls of Tar-jay. Thanks, Pink